Wolferson chosen to lead Bunny Protection Agency

On the heals of Scott Pruitt's nomination to lead the Environmental Protection Agency and Rick Perry's nomination to lead the Department of Energy, it appears that president elect Donald Trump has chosen Frank Wolferson to lead the Bunny Protection Agency. While a formal announcement is expected later today, Trump transition team spokesperson, Snidely Whiplash did not deny reports that Wolferson was indeed Trump's pick.


When asked if Wolferson was the likely choice to lead the BPA, Whiplash menacingly twisted his mustache between his thumb and forefinger and giggled.


Wolferson, the current president of the National Predator Alliance, a non-profit organization dedicated to protecting the rights of carnivores, came under fire in May of 2015 when he suggested that bunnies and other prey species should be registered in a national database as a means to combat domestic terrorism. While speaking at the annual gathering of the League of Barn Owls, Wolferson asserted that small mammals in particular posed a threat to national security due to their eating habits.

"These delicious... I mean herbivorous... herbivorous...animals are coming into our forests, eating all the vegetation, and we don't know what their motivations are. We need to understand who they are, where they live, how many delectable... I mean adorable babies they have... We need to understand what the hell is going on!"

Although Wolferson never gave specifics as to the correlation of bunny, deer, mouse and squirrel population growth and an increase in domestic terrorism, he continued to push for a national registry, or as Wolferson referred to it, an inventory.

While confirmation hearings may be lengthy, Wolferson is expected to be confirmed due to the fact that the majority of congress are essentially wolves in sheep clothing.